the Amazing Anvil Briefcase of EPIC FAIL !!! - Harmony Central Musician Community Forums

Bobby D · 02-04-2009, 02:12 PM

I was driving thru a neighborhood on trash day, and saw this in the trash pile. Jumped out, put it in the car, and looked inside once. Been sitting in the corner.

Newark comes over, and I'm showing him stuff, and said, "hey have you seen the epic box of FAIL?"

this is the ANVIL CASE OF FAIL:

obviously owned by a musician from 80s:

open it up, right on top of file of paperwork are VIP passes to Thee Dollhouse

case is filled with various 80s butt rock ephemera, and a CD that (shudder) might have belonged to the previous owner. it's florida butt rock from late 80s, and as we losten to the CD, newark comments: "You could have been in that band". Sad thing is, he's RIGHT

Dig a little deeper, and out comes a folder of some of the WORST lyrics you have ever ever ever seen. Makes David Lee Roth look like Oscar Wilde in comparison. or something.

If these were brought to a spoken word night and read as random found poetry, it would probably bring the house down.

obviously dude was a BASS PLAYER, and didn't like to throw his strings away, so there's like 10 old sets of bass strings. and a bunch of other crap and some batteries that are old and have leaked a bit. I really need to clean it up. It's an environmental hazard!

But what does one do with an EPIC BOX OF FAIL such as this?

There's a letter inside with the resignation of a soundman from the band. It's CLASSIC.

the anvil briefcase of fail. from the butt rawk 80s. what would you trade for tHIS, sizzlechest?

orange worker · 02-04-2009, 02:13 PM

post the resignation

edit: go wash your hands too

cleverbastid · 02-04-2009, 02:18 PM

He was onto something, bass strings can be used as weapons.

schandmann · 02-04-2009, 02:18 PM

bad lyrics are bad.

great find!

Bobby D · 02-04-2009, 02:22 PM

name deleted to protect the guilty

onyxrhino · 02-04-2009, 02:23 PM

the CD song titles are even worse than the lyrics

Bobby D · 02-04-2009, 02:27 PM

this was one of newark's "favorites".

as a writer, he was thoroughly appalled by what came of of this briefcase O'Fail.

mr benn · 02-04-2009, 02:28 PM

i'd rock the shit out of that case for my bass pedalboard!

Edit: whoa I didn't know timothy Mcveigh was in a band?

onyxrhino · 02-04-2009, 02:30 PM

"When I see your face and your emotions of love"

that's poetry

Secret Seasons · 02-04-2009, 02:30 PM

don't let him fool you, this was Bobby's band. The bass player just left that crap at his house one day.

RoboPimp · 02-04-2009, 02:33 PM

the engineer "retirement" letter is OK, those lyrics are TEH EPIC PHAIL!

sethlover · 02-04-2009, 02:39 PM

It's funny that they could care less about even opening it before throwing it out. Must have been an ex girlfriend...

Belt · 02-04-2009, 02:39 PM

this is an EPIC find for real

Havar2 · 02-04-2009, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bobby D

this was one of newark's "favorites".

as a writer, he was thoroughly appalled by what came of of this briefcase O'Fail.

the "roar in the back ground" line almost got me to tears.

side note: how big is the case? Ill give you like $5 + a few for shipping (if its not too heavy) if its decent enough for a few pedals- its pretty awesome.

cg_25 · 02-04-2009, 02:46 PM

Quote:

this is the ANVIL CASE OF FAIL:

YOU FOUND MY BRIEFCASE!

lol

shipatsea · 02-04-2009, 02:52 PM

ewww old sweaty bass strings. Boil them

StopReferencing · 02-04-2009, 02:57 PM

Bobby D · 02-04-2009, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NewarkWilder

don't let him fool you, this was Bobby's band. The bass player just left that crap at his house one day.

bwahahaha......

well, i got inspired. i cleaned up the case, because i'm gonna put all my guitar tool in there.

there were only a handful of leaky batteries, and it cleaned up easily.

anvil cases live forever. this one is kinda special, as it is a late 70s/early 80s anvil briefcase, and it was purchased from Thoroughbred Music, back at their OLD location on Nebraska Ave, early early 80s....so this anvil briefcase has been kicking it Florida rock n roll style for nearly 30 years now.

now, the lyrics.

there are hundreds of them. i have a huge folder, full of lyrics, receipts from strip clubs, the cd, etc. this is where MOST of the fail resides.

i DID find a nice roll of vintage solder, and some connectors and other small parts that were worth keeping.

threw ALL the bass strings out, along with the dead batteries.

yeah, i'm thinking ex-girlfriend, ex-wife, or just someone who said "fuck it" threw his shit out and got a damn job

RoboPimp · 02-04-2009, 03:01 PM

yeah anvil cases are pretty much indestructible

Bobby D · 02-04-2009, 03:03 PM

i think i'm just gonna read them as "spoken word samples" on top of some of my "stargarden ambient" music, and do an album for the guy. unbeknownst to him

02-04-2009, 02:12 PM	#1
Bobby D Lord of the FX Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 12,187	the Amazing Anvil Briefcase of EPIC FAIL !!! I was driving thru a neighborhood on trash day, and saw this in the trash pile. Jumped out, put it in the car, and looked inside once. Been sitting in the corner. Newark comes over, and I'm showing him stuff, and said, "hey have you seen the epic box of FAIL?" this is the ANVIL CASE OF FAIL: obviously owned by a musician from 80s: open it up, right on top of file of paperwork are VIP passes to Thee Dollhouse case is filled with various 80s butt rock ephemera, and a CD that (shudder) might have belonged to the previous owner. it's florida butt rock from late 80s, and as we losten to the CD, newark comments: "You could have been in that band". Sad thing is, he's RIGHT Dig a little deeper, and out comes a folder of some of the WORST lyrics you have ever ever ever seen. Makes David Lee Roth look like Oscar Wilde in comparison. or something. If these were brought to a spoken word night and read as random found poetry, it would probably bring the house down. obviously dude was a BASS PLAYER, and didn't like to throw his strings away, so there's like 10 old sets of bass strings. and a bunch of other crap and some batteries that are old and have leaked a bit. I really need to clean it up. It's an environmental hazard! But what does one do with an EPIC BOX OF FAIL such as this? There's a letter inside with the resignation of a soundman from the band. It's CLASSIC. the anvil briefcase of fail. from the butt rawk 80s. what would you trade for tHIS, sizzlechest? __________________ *let's be friends* myspace.com/therealbobbyd youtube.com/roccotanto (for pedal demos and stuff) magnatune.com/artists/lvxnova TWITTER @bobbydevito add BOBBY DEVITO to your FACEBOOK! the blog: http://bobbydevito.tumblr.com/

02-04-2009, 02:22 PM	#5
Bobby D Lord of the FX Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 12,187	name deleted to protect the guilty __________________ *let's be friends* myspace.com/therealbobbyd youtube.com/roccotanto (for pedal demos and stuff) magnatune.com/artists/lvxnova TWITTER @bobbydevito add BOBBY DEVITO to your FACEBOOK! the blog: http://bobbydevito.tumblr.com/

02-04-2009, 02:23 PM	#6
onyxrhino onihrxyno Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: on your side Posts: 5,207	the CD song titles are even worse than the lyrics __________________ This MH -2 does not face the person in search of a beautiful thing such as the new article. A lamp goes on and off at the time of on and off. It works perfectly as much as it is surprised to be an old model. As for the thing 30 years ago, it can't think of it. -stagecostumejpsantabo, ebay scribe good deals w/ Cadd99, jmgruber, onerailunder, bass_econo, hangwire, TweedBassman, letsgocoyote, bhmcc, pepperduck, Jumbo Fuzz

02-04-2009, 02:27 PM	#7
Bobby D Lord of the FX Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 12,187	this was one of newark's "favorites". as a writer, he was thoroughly appalled by what came of of this briefcase O'Fail. __________________ *let's be friends* myspace.com/therealbobbyd youtube.com/roccotanto (for pedal demos and stuff) magnatune.com/artists/lvxnova TWITTER @bobbydevito add BOBBY DEVITO to your FACEBOOK! the blog: http://bobbydevito.tumblr.com/

02-04-2009, 02:28 PM	#8
mr benn I've got a clan of gingerbread men Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: I'm on a Boat,Mother F$%ker! Posts: 4,467	i'd rock the shit out of that case for my bass pedalboard! Edit: whoa I didn't know timothy Mcveigh was in a band? __________________ Good deals with kpd78,Jog,HeartfeltDawn,Kayzer,Crxsh, duderanimous,Letsgocoyote,Loobs,Bruno, DangerousDan,stratman tigers,digiology,starstream...

02-04-2009, 02:18 PM	#4
schandmann Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Osnabrück, Germany Posts: 312	bad lyrics are bad. great find!

02-04-2009, 02:30 PM	#9
onyxrhino onihrxyno Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: on your side Posts: 5,207	"When I see your face and your emotions of love" that's poetry __________________ This MH -2 does not face the person in search of a beautiful thing such as the new article. A lamp goes on and off at the time of on and off. It works perfectly as much as it is surprised to be an old model. As for the thing 30 years ago, it can't think of it. -stagecostumejpsantabo, ebay scribe good deals w/ Cadd99, jmgruber, onerailunder, bass_econo, hangwire, TweedBassman, letsgocoyote, bhmcc, pepperduck, Jumbo Fuzz

02-04-2009, 02:30 PM	#10
Secret Seasons Art Begetting Art Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: in a cloud... made of fuzz. Posts: 4,652	don't let him fool you, this was Bobby's band. The bass player just left that crap at his house one day.

02-04-2009, 02:33 PM	#11
RoboPimp member heh Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: alpha centauri Posts: 27,870	the engineer "retirement" letter is OK, those lyrics are TEH EPIC PHAIL! __________________ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ SPAM: art/amp for sale - new art added

02-04-2009, 02:39 PM	#12
sethlover Hall of Fame Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Aboard the Adventure Posts: 5,359	It's funny that they could care less about even opening it before throwing it out. Must have been an ex girlfriend... __________________ -Seth www.thesethloverexperience.com

02-04-2009, 02:39 PM	#13
Belt Copy of the Master Join Date: May 2007 Location: (Don) the Thumb... Michigan Posts: 5,772	this is an EPIC find for real __________________ All for Him www.soseffects.com ----- www.myspace.com/soseffects SPAM-----Good Dealings with-----My Pedal Board for now WTB - EBOW Plus

02-04-2009, 02:52 PM	#16
shipatsea ELECTRIC MONK Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Atlanta GA Posts: 1,523	ewww old sweaty bass strings. Boil them __________________ . WINNER HCFX 2006 BEST MEDIUM SIZE BOARD ! I never fucked a 10 but one night I fucked 5 2's. George Carlin __________________________ Good deals: Utterhack - Stomboxman - Unklesam - The Eristic - Workingclasszero - peelingpaint98 x3 - Mojoman - PurpleStrat - Steve Howe - TheMeanReds - Stereotypy - Carrier Street - Hivedestruction - mrmisse - lowbrow - bvester - Doug Deeper - sa1112 - 6StrngStrangler

02-04-2009, 03:01 PM	#19
RoboPimp member heh Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: alpha centauri Posts: 27,870	yeah anvil cases are pretty much indestructible __________________ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ SPAM: art/amp for sale - new art added

02-04-2009, 03:03 PM	#20
Bobby D Lord of the FX Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 12,187	i think i'm just gonna read them as "spoken word samples" on top of some of my "stargarden ambient" music, and do an album for the guy. unbeknownst to him __________________ *let's be friends* myspace.com/therealbobbyd youtube.com/roccotanto (for pedal demos and stuff) magnatune.com/artists/lvxnova TWITTER @bobbydevito add BOBBY DEVITO to your FACEBOOK! the blog: http://bobbydevito.tumblr.com/

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