PRACTICAL JOKES ON BANDMATES

[Hamer_Time]

I don't know why I thought of this, but I will start it off (and I have more for later):

Our drummer is a great guy but a little metro, irons and hangs up his t-shirts, spends LOTS of time on his hair, etc. So, we were in Vermont for a 2-day gig and after the first show we were back at our motel doing some partying. Me and my other guitar player were a little hammered and decided to fill up the drummers brand new bright red Ferrari jacket with crumpled up toilet paper, sleeves, pockets, inside pockets, etc.

The best part was it ended up being unusually warm so he didn't even put on the jacket until later - and we got an eyewitness account of the incident later from his girlfriend, which included, "those assholes tp'd my new ferrari jacket"....

Let me hear yours - I always need new ideas.

[SUV Steve]

Pulled my bass player over on the way home from the gig using my car alarm.

[ChordGirl]

Originally Posted by SUV Steve

Pulled my bass player over on the way home from the gig using my car alarm.

This is beautiful.

[The Real MC]

I used to play the piano opening to REO Speedwagon "Keep On Loving You" in F# while the rest of the band slammed the power chords on F. In rehearsal of course. The confused look on their faces was priceless.

The next time I attempted that, the guitar player caught me in the act and said "Oh no you don't!"

Fast forward years later to R&B band.

During rehearsal we had a fun time jamming Boston "Foreplay/Long Time". At one gig I started playing the opening riff and the singer/leader motioned me to cut off.

So for the next six months at least once during the night I would quote the opening "Foreplay" riff in the middle of an organ solo. Transposing on the fly. Everyone in the band caught the joke except the singer. After wondering what all the snickering was about we finally clued him in.

[Nobody Told Me]

I've never liked practical jokes. I have a great sense of humor, but I've never thought a scenario where someone is victimized is funny, even if it was good natured. I know I'm in the minority. suum cuique.

[Big0range]

you sound like the guy that always at the funny end of a practical joke...

[JBJ]

at one gig with a guy who was on a sort of runnign audition for the band we pretended we were all really religious and asked if he'd say a prayer to the guitar gods to make sure we had a safe and happy gig.

it kind of freaked him out, dope paranoia n stuff

[caveman]

I'm probably not the guy you want to pull practical jokes on. I will rip your nipple with a smile.

[wades_keys]

Originally Posted by Nobody Told Me

I've never liked practical jokes. I have a great sense of humor, but I've never thought a scenario where someone is victimized is funny, even if it was good natured. I know I'm in the minority. suum cuique.

I agree.

Anyone who gets off on the misfortune of others is by definition, not good natured.

I tell my Gf's kids: "That shit's only funny on tv."

[wades_keys]

Originally Posted by caveman

I'm probably not the guy you want to pull practical jokes on. I will rip your nipple with a smile.

I hear ya.

THe smile part is important, since it is a practical joke

Then you say "who's laughing now?"

[pharmboyjoe]

In the downtown party district there is an adult toy/etc place called "Forbidden Fruit." We had a bar gig around the corner. I got there early and I parked right in front of the place, stuck my head inside and the staff were like, "Can we help you?" Looking at the S&M gear and dildos on the wall, I said, "Sure! In a little while a guy is gonna come in here in a yellow tank top, his name is Rory, everybody please greet him and call him by his first name, act like you've known him for years. 'RORY' got it? That'd be great. Be right back"
When our bass player (Rory), who had parked behind me and was walking with his new girlfriend, passed in front of the place I said, "Hey man, you ever been in here"
"Never"
"Really, let's take a peek."
He opened the door, let his gal walk in first, and as she's taking it all in these guys started "HEY Rory!! Dawg, how's it hanging" Chicks sticking their head out from the back, "Rory, good to see ya man." Etc Etc
If only I had a camera to take a picture....the looks on their faces, especially hers.....
he he he he

[Professor Tom]

Originally Posted by pharmboyjoe

In the downtown party district there is an adult toy/etc place called "Forbidden Fruit." We had a bar gig around the corner. I got there early and I parked right in front of the place, stuck my head inside and the staff were like, "Can we help you?" Looking at the S&M gear and dildos on the wall, I said, "Sure! In a little while a guy is gonna come in here in a yellow tank top, his name is Rory, everybody please greet him and call him by his first name, act like you've known him for years. 'RORY' got it? That'd be great. Be right back"
When our bass player (Rory), who had parked behind me and was walking with his new girlfriend, passed in front of the place I said, "Hey man, you ever been in here"
"Never"
"Really, let's take a peek."
He opened the door, let his gal walk in first, and as she's taking it all in these guys started "HEY Rory!! Dawg, how's it hanging" Chicks sticking their head out from the back, "Rory, good to see ya man." Etc Etc
If only I had a camera to take a picture....the looks on their faces, especially hers.....
he he he he

Oh, I got to remember that one and I'll try and use it one day.
Brilliant practical joke, priceless !

[LIA1]

For some reason in the last band I was in we would initiate our new drummers by hiding their drum kit around where ever we were practicing. The first time we took the guys drum set out of the basement a completely reconstructed it in the guest bedroom that no one ever used. He said he look around the house for hours before he checked the bedroom. The second guy we hid cymbals in the cupboards and hardware under the bed and in the closet. We actually totally forgot that we put his small tom under the bathroom sink were it stayed for 2 weeks before he found it. At the time it was hilarious.

[Raskolnikovs axe]

the other guitarist in my band has a weird but really strong aversion to condiments - stuff like ketchup, mustard, and mayo really gross him out. if he accidentally eats some he'll throw up. anyway, my bass player smeared some ketchup on his face and he got pissed, so later he took a big shit on a piece of plastic wrap and left it sitting out on the bassist's laptop keyboard (still on the plastic wrap though.)

when the bassist found it, he relocated it to the inside of the other guitarists car, where it remained for about a day before he found it.

[Nobody Told Me]

Originally Posted by Raskolnikovs axe

(still on the plastic wrap though.)

Plastic wrap!! Man that's hilarious!!

[FitchFY]

Oh God, I love screwing with my band mates. It's never malicious, just fun little stuff and we always clue them in. It's especially fun since my singer has a major case of LSS and is constantly clueless, so we really jive on him sometimes.

My favorite was a song we play with a pause in it before the drums kick in, and I like to tell jokes between the pauses. On stage once, it went like this:

<SONG STOPS>
Me: "Hey Brian?"
Singer: "Uhhh... yeah?"
Me: "Whats the name of that movie about the guy with the spider powers, who swings on a web, and he's got a spider on his costume?"
Singer: "You mean 'Spider Man'?"
Me: "Spider Man! THAT'S what it was."

It was emphasized by me writing it down on a piece of paper before kicking into the song again.

[MarkGifford-1]

We had a drummer who was a major PITA.

One night, when he was doing a drum solo (this was the early 80's) we all went outside and stood, looking in the window, flipping him off and such, while he had to keep playing and playing and playing...

He kept motioning at us to get back in there, but we just laughed harder.

Finally we went back in and finished the tune.

MG

[corbind]

That's funny!!

[DevilRaysFan]

Back in the 80s, I played with a drummer who passed out on the bus.....A couple of us put our weiners on his face and the guitarist/bandleader took a picture...The pic was hilarious: he looked like he was in ecstacy with cocks on his face...This same drummer did not know we did that and still doesn't: He is quite the psycho and - even 20 years later - is the kind of guy that would go out of his way to hunt us all down................

[cooterbrown]

We occasionally use a sound guy...we love him to death, but he's quite anal about his presentation.

Well, my Motif ES6 has a patch called "GTR/BS/FX", which has all manner of scratches, thumps, slides, and squeaks that a guitar or bass could make.

It also has a 60-cycle hum and RF-interference sample.

Bill, the soundman, would be trying to get a drum level, or whatnot, and I would fade in the 60 hz hum slowly until he finally heard it. I would hit the note while he wasn't looking and hold it with the sustain pedal.

He would see it's coming from my send, so he comes up to flip the polarity on the direct box, at which point I key off the noise.

Now, he has to jump down from the little side stage area whe he keeps the DI's, snake breakout and AC supply. When he hits the stage, I slam the RF noise and he looks like he's been shot.

He goes back up to the DI and when he pulls the cord, I turn off the noise.

He plugs in a new cord, and goes back to the FOH, and as he resumes getting his drum levels, I fade the 60 hz hum back in, at which point, his language becomes X-rated.

I didn't have the heart to watch him go insane, so I let him in on the joke.

My bandmates were ace...totally poker-faced through the whole thing.

Bill got back at me by turning my monitor off several times that evening, usually when I went for a solo...paybacks are hell.