My best friend is gay!

[facevalue1]

I just found out today. We always joke about hugging in public, then i found out that he is gay. It is just wrong. A girl I hang out with told me he was, so I asked him and he tried to hit on me :( I think I am going to kill myself. What should I do??


------------------
"I was into sex, drugs and rock and roll. And the rock and roll was paying for the sex and drugs. I should be dead."
- Ozzy Osbourne

[U&I]

"I asked him if he was gay and he tried to hit on me "
What a load of fuckin' frog shit honestly. So you're such a hot lookin' guy that every homo on the planet jus' wants a peice of your ass. I THINK NOT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuckin' grow up..... if he's a good mate his sexuality shouldn't be an issue, your friendship should be the issue !!!!!!!
I just don't beleive he suddenly hits on too you and all :(
BTW what where you doin' huggin and shit all the time before hand anyways..
He probably thinks your gay too LAME ASS :P

[facevalue1]

You know what, fuck off. I really feel like shit right now and I can hug my friends because I am comfortable with MY own sexuality.

[U&I]

That's just my point if you feel comfortable with your own sexuality what's your problem. The way you worded your first post doesn't actually imply this act all.

[TashiTashi]

Ahem, well, no need to kill yourself. I think the issue here is more one of trust, rather than sexuality. The gay guy in question kinda deceived you. I mean you don't have to share your sex life, not even with a best friend, but you would think that someone would know if their best friend was gay or not.

Well first I think you should decide if you still want to be friends with this person, considering if you really don't care whether he is gay or not. If you are homophobic, then that is your own issue. But if you're not, I would let him know directly that I felt deceived and that you can't have a real friendship based on deception. It may take time to build the trust thing back up, but we all make mistakes, I think in the long run, things will be ok. Otherwise, nothing last forever. Even people come and go. So if you feel you must burn a bridge, be sure and don't have any regrets about it. No need to live in the past.

[samthesham]

Do us all a favor Kill yerself. what a pathetic whiney fucking loser you are. You're so full of shit. Your moronic post made me register just so I could tell you what a fucking idiot you are. Who cares if your friend is gay. Who cares if he didn't tell you. He probably hit on you because you were so freaked out by his gayness he probably thought you were gay by the way you were acting. why does it matter. 'oh my gawd i hugged a gay man... now i have to put my dick in his ass...goddamn homophobe...
he proably never open came out to you because he thought you act that way... all scared

and no you're not comfortable with your sexuality. If you were it wouldnt matter if he's a peter puffer. Jesus how can nobody in your life slap the crap outta you. Wake up dude

[Hades25]

i agree with samthesham ... he did deceive you ....but.....GET OVER IT MAN , he's your best friend.......didnt you know....... everyones gay ... just some show it and some dont...and you seem to be in gay denial

[ircnic]

Originally posted by U&I:
That's just my point if you feel comfortable with your own sexuality what's your problem. The way you worded your first post doesn't actually imply this act all.

I think U&I is the gay one around here.. lol GET OUT OF YOUR CLOSET YOU FLAMER !

[serotonin]

facevalue is a pretty appropriate handle...

hey, he hasn't actually changed in anyway - he's still the same guy you've always known. He has always been gay, but he's probably never felt comfortable telling you because he could probably sense your homophobia.

He's not going to change either, so either you ignore everything that you like about him and cut him off because of his sexuality or you have to re-evalute your perception of gays. talk to him - he's still the same guy, laugh about it, too. Christ, it's not that serious!!!!

[dj digs]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? JERRY SPRINGER?

[fiver22]

Originally posted by facevalue1:
I just found out today. We always joke about hugging in public, then i found out that he is gay. It is just wrong. A girl I hang out with told me he was, so I asked him and he tried to hit on me :( I think I am going to kill myself. What should I do??



I've gotta go with U&I, and Samthesham on this one ...and this should be a non-issue... and you should call your friend...

[U&I]

Oh and that's Mr.Homosexual to you IRCNIC.... definately no closets in my house thankyou very much ...........
That said I do have a very nice walk through wardrobe leading to a bedroom ensuite ;)
(Oh I suppose you'll think I'm hitting on you now)
TOSSER :D

[Stbean]

Originally posted by dj digs:
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? JERRY SPRINGER?

LOL!

[HungryCoyote]

Yeahh. umm.

So. Because he was maybe uncomfortable telling you this, from how you might react, [and I certainly think he did make the right choice not telling you from what I see here, if this isn't just a troll thread (first thing I thought reading this.) and is in fact real.] he's 'lied' to you? Now, maybe it's just me, but I don't see anything 'gay' at all about hugging. I suppose maybe it's this conception that if you ever, at any time, let any other guy see any form of emotion in you, you've gotta be gay.
What bullshit. And I hope I'm wrong in my perception that what I've jsut described is common.
Now I don't even know why I'm responding to this. And I've just now noticed it's a month old.

[bigsplendor]

Originally posted by U&I:
That's just my point if you feel comfortable with your own sexuality what's your problem. The way you worded your first post doesn't actually imply this act all.

exactly.

[CoquitoKing]

birds of a feather flock together

[breakstuff]

you feel bad and you think you got it bad, but "your friend" is the one that's gay

[Travis_aka_Roy]

can we get a group hug?

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ROCK!
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Have a smell of panda droppings. This one is very fragrant.

[Somnambulist Mime]

DDEVIL, that bad man from the guitar effects forum, is GAY! *COLLECTIVE GASP* Yes it's true.

BTW, it's not that big of a deal that your friend is gay, man. Think about it, there's a lot of gay people in the world. Now you are friends with one of them. Get over it.

DDEVIL, don't read that last part you homo.

[DDEVIL]

You have room to talk, Incubus-boy. I'm not the one with a huge poster of Mr. Boyd on my wall with a big sign over his crotch that says "Sausage is here".

As for the gay issue, gay people are just like anyone else, except for the fact that they like members of their own sex in a sexual manner. What's the big deal?

[Somnambulist Mime]

Don't bring Brandon into this, you jealous disgusting creep! He's mine!....uhhh, (In really deep voice) I mean, I look up to him in a completely non-sexual manner and happen to enjoy his abs...err, his eyes..uhh, I'm gonna go sit in a corner and, uh, yeah....

[Alejandro D]

Damn you homophobes.

Who cares if your friend is gay? It shouldn't matter.

[tobe]

HAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

you all make me laugh so hard you people you really do

I would feel more freaked by the fact that i didnt realize that my so called "best friend" was gay then the fact of what he does in his sex life.

My advice - check your Gay-dar man it may need a little clean!

[hungryghost]

Who cares if he hit on you? One of my best friends is a flaming faggot and he hits on me all the time. We both know it'll get him nowhere and it's taken in jest.

I think you have two options:

1) Sit down with him and bond. Show him how much he means to you by exploring the blissful gayness of things. Packin his poopy love canal may expose you to a world of possibilities.

2) Come to realize that getting hit on by a gay guy doesn't threaten you. If you can't get over it, just tell him to stop.

Doesn't seem so complicated to me ... but who am I but just some guy who's surrounded by queers in San Francisco.

[kilgoretrout]

Simple, love him. Not intimately. And let him know clearly and kindly that you are not homo and do not feel comfortable with him hitting on you.

[chris_chrys]

I didn't

[Feelin' Saucy]

Most gay people I've known (male or female) have been very level headed. He obviously knows you're not into any kind of more-than-friends relationship, so he'll probably be leaving your hind quarter alone. To my knowledge, alcohol has the same effect on gay men, so don't get too close to him when you two are drinkin.
It' not like he's been lying to you, sexuality is difficult for everyone, so he'd probably need more support than it appears you're giving him. Friends shouldn't suddenly grow apart because of something like that.

[Nimbus Rodus]

Originally posted by engine505:
Everyone else posted on this thread so I said so why not.



Did I just post?

[CoquitoKing]

he might just want you to suck his dick!

[Travis_aka_Roy]

Originally posted by DDEVIL
As for the gay issue, gay people are just like anyone else, except for the fact that they like members of their own sex in a sexual manner. What's the big deal?

the big deal is that they are well .........GAY!

[bellehard]

then i found out that he is gay. It is just wrong.

:eek: EXCUSE ME?? It is just WRONG, you said. SO WHAT??? Are you gonna walk out in the street and tell all disabled people that being disabled is wrong? Are you gonna go to a gig to see a band that you hate and tell them that what they do is wrong?

Life isn't black and white, you know. There are many truths. You HAVE to stay open minded and treat people the way you want them to treat you. Be grateful for what YOU have and stop demanding so much from others. Imagine yourself being in his situation! A bit tricky, no?

When it comes to friendship, sexuality is not important anyway. You don't pick your friends because of their sexuality, do you? So what's the big deal??

I understand that you want to talk about it. However, I really think you should post these kinds of messages in another message board on a DIFFERENT SITE. Because the main thing that I REALLY like about HC is that it's such a good site for musicians - IT'S SO PROFESSIONAL.

Let's keep it that way. We don't want no Jerry Springer over here!

Thanks!

bellehard

:)

[Grimmace]

He is your "best friend" and you didnt know he was gay?

[rjx]

Originally posted by facevalue1
I just found out today. We always joke about hugging in public, then i found out that he is gay. It is just wrong. A girl I hang out with told me he was, so I asked him and he tried to hit on me :( I think I am going to kill myself. What should I do??


------------------
"I was into sex, drugs and rock and roll. And the rock and roll was paying for the sex and drugs. I should be dead."
- Ozzy Osbourne

facevalue1


You are a complete idiot :p

[Coquito]

birds of a feather fluck together

:p

[The Villano Dude]

hmm
you guys have nothing better to do?...
look man...sorry that this gay guy happens to be your best friend and that he hit on you...I would not appreciate it either...try to overcome it, if he does not understand then he is not willing to put his emotions aside...try to com to some understanding...he is not perfect but neither are you..you are no better than him but maybe the fact that he is gay could either bring your friendship closer or make you go different ways...and lets face it...shit happens!!...just try to be in harmony man!!

[Steveascott]

:)

[Puta]

this thread is GAY :p

[HungryCoyote]

Damn, this part of the forum must have a slow turnover rate.

I looked that this area, thought about this thread, and wondered if it was still here. Yup. It is.


Now.. (Everyone ready?)

I told my best friend a while back. He was a bit suprised, doubtful. He didn't believe me. For a while he tried to suggest maybe I wasn't, but gave up when it was obvious he was wrong. He's just fine with me now, even drinking, since he knows I can control myself (Even though he is hot...) around him. He's comfortable not wearing a shirt around me now, in the summer, though.. for a while he'd put one on even if he was sweating a river.

What he said is that it makes him uncomfortable becasue it makes him picture himself sleeping with other guys and that sort of repulses him.

[HungryCoyote]

Open Jam is that way, kiddo.

[mandulete]

if is he is a good friend keep it, but if he where my roomate i'll keep more distance between us, i mean i didint walk in underware around in the room:D , my personal opinions about the people that think they are gay is that they have something wrong, they are trying to make people think that been against the human sexuality nature is something ok, i don't think so... but that doesnt make him a bad or good person at all...

[djsynrgy]

blah blah blah

can't a moderator just delete this thread?

[6ftabovsealevel]

I think the mods may have forgotten this board exists...

[HungryCoyote]

Originally posted by mandulete
if is he is a good friend keep it, but if he where my roomate i'll keep more distance between us, i mean i didint walk in underware around in the room:D , my personal opinions about the people that think they are gay is that they have something wrong, they are trying to make people think that been against the human sexuality nature is something ok, i don't think so... but that doesnt make him a bad or good person at all...
Not meaning to start a flame war or such, but you aren't actually trying to suggest that homosexuality goes against nature?

Sure, it's counterproductive for producing offspring, but there's enough people as it is. Saying it's against nature is no longer an opinion, but a statement that is sure to bring out strong opinions.

Sexuality is, per se, a human construct. Pretty much every animal just is, there's no gay, straight. They go with their desires. And so do people. Except people have a big fixation on labels and stereotypes, and so here we are on a DJ section of a music forum flogging a buried horse. ;)



Besides, people who think they are gay are unsure. Just as people who say they think they are straight. Then again, how sure are YOU of your sexuality? Can you confidently say you are straight and would never have thoughts about someone of your own gender? So can many gay males. Besides, it's not jsut gay /or/ straight. You can even possibly have some attraction to both in different ways and strenghts.

[mandulete]

ok, the first thing is we are not animals at all, we have a concience, so we can't do everythig we desire to do, if we live that way think where our humanity will be in a couple of years. Second "men", if you think most people are not shure about the sex they born with, you are wrong too. The homosexuality is something the gay people doesnt born with... And i don't find any man sexualy attractive at all, and ill never will, pretty shure of it..:D

[djsynrgy]

sorry dude, but homo-sapiens are in fact, animals. mammals at that.

My 2 cents: anyone who has a problem with someone elses sexuality is undoubtedly unassure of their own.

[HungryCoyote]

Originally posted by mandulete
ok, the first thing is we are not animals at all, we have a concience, so we can't do everythig we desire to do, if we live that way think where our humanity will be in a couple of years. Second "men", if you think most people are not shure about the sex they born with, you are wrong too. The homosexuality is something the gay people doesnt born with... And i don't find any man sexualy attractive at all, and ill never will, pretty shure of it..:D

And that's fine. But tell me. If homosexuality is not something that is born, then neither would heterosexuality. At what point did you look at a male, and a female, debate the merits and fine points of liking each gender, and decide that perhaps a female would be a spledid choice? That's right. You didn't. ;)

You just kinda noticed an interesting reaction to girls at a certain age.

Well, some of us didn't get a reaction to girls, per se. ;)

Is it a choice then? Like a switch? I wish it was. So that I could just flip it one way or the other to match the situation. But I can't.

[djsynrgy]

I decided to turn my 2 cents into about a buck fifty. THC usually does that to me. :D

If your best friend is gay (even if you don't know): congradulations and welcome to what garth would have called "the now". There have been documented homosexual relationships tracing back beyond the Roman empire. It's not a new concept, your parents just kept YOU in the closet your whole life. Just be fucking thankful your friend isn't into necrophelia or bestiality or something REALLY wrong. If you don't like the idea, just don't participate. Chances are they keep you as a friend simply because they AREN'T attracted to you. If you don't want to have a relationship with someone, what do you care about who they choose to have a relationship with? Maybe I'm spoiled because I live in a cultural melting pot but I feel like a lot of you cats are EXTREMELY sheltered. If you think there's some way of outlawing it, like minded people also led by ignorance lost that battle a LONG time ago. It's a part of your world. Either acknowledge it or ignore it, but do yourselves a favor and stop making such bigoted pricks of yourselves. Didn't your mother ever tell you "If you can't say something nice..."

nooch.

[mandulete]

simple, your male sexual organ is design to get women pregnet and have sexual relations with womens, not to intruduce it in to another guy ass, UFFFF "thats insane" :eek:

[HungryCoyote]

Originally posted by mandulete
simple, your male sexual organ is design to get women pregnet and have sexual relations with womens, not to intruduce it in to another guy ass, UFFFF "thats insane" :eek:

So, what about anal sex with another female? Or oral sex? As you can see this could go on all day.

Anyway, best policy is to keep your mind out of other's bedrooms.
That way, anything you do find out is pretty much your own fault if it does offend you.

And I can tell it's offensive to you. So why not just leave it at that? I can't possibly argue that it doesn't offend you. However, making claims of it being this or that, then I can. Sometimes it's just better to just call an opinion an opinion. ;) I hope most people here are able to accept honesty even when it's something they don't agree with.

BTW: This isn't an attack, either. You've managed to remain quite civil about something most people flip out about.