I Know You Know and 6am

[DaSpider]

I added 2 new songs called "I Know You Know" and "6am". When I was recording I Know You Know, it got too long so I edited it down. The original longer version was uploaded too if you want to compare.

6am (http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=5210943&q=hi)

I Know You Know (http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=5235548&q=hi)

I Know You Know (Extended Version) (http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=5235590&q=hi)

One of the things I cut was a bridge which I didn't feel added much to the song (other than some atmosphere).

Thanks!
Neall

[eeglug]

These are your most confident and polished tunes posted here so far imo.

I Know You Know (short version): could be even shorter, I think. The drum break is too long and diminishes the momentum. By the time the vocals return I'm a bit tired of the hook, but you end it promptly after so that's good.

IKYK (long version): The bridge might work with something filling the foreground. The drum break of the short version has instruments on it here, which may work better for the short version. Maybe the drum break in the short version should instead be rhythm guitar pumping out the chords(?).

Good song.

BUT..."6am" totally kinda blew my socks off. Totally awesome, Neall. :thu:

My only comments are minor: get a real drummer (or better drum software) onto this, the ending could be rethought (at least let it fade out longer)...EDIT: you need to write different lyrics for the second half of the song. This is what happens to me since lyrics usually don't register on me until after much repeated listening.

[rsadasiv]

6 am

Kind of a dirgey Nirvana (check the verse chords against "About a Girl" from Unplugged in New York) meets Pink Floyd (sorry, can't find the song but the melody and vocal in the chorus remind me of some prog rock song from the early 80's). I like the quotidien lyrics - would like them more if the rhythm was a little livelier. Maybe it's because I just listened to a bunch of Pink Floyd songs, but a David Gilmour guitar solo might sound good before the fade out.

I Know You Know (short version)

I'm digging this one much more, but I'm a sucker for anything with a "Bah ba ba bah" in it. Yeah, the drum break is too long - big time momentum killer. The guitar hook with a bigger, punchier sound would work better. I'm ok with the drum patterns but I agree that the drums sounds are not great. What are you listening through when you mix? Because I think the drum sound could be a lot bassier than it is (similar to my comment on your last song).

I would post more, but listening to all that Pink Floyd wore me out, so I'll just +1 for the rest of eeglug's comments on IKYK.

[DaSpider]

Thanks guys!

On IKYK, the drum section was a bit much and kills the momentum. I'm probably going to remove it and go with the guitars only doing the hook.

6am:

...you need to write different lyrics for the second half of the song.

Yeah, I got lazy with the 3rd verse. I was trying to be lazy/cute with the alarm clock crying (i.e., it's the baby).

...but a David Gilmour guitar solo might sound good before the fade out.

I'm no David Gilmour, but what about this:
6am (Extended Version) (http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=5240051&q=hi)

Does it help the song or not?

Thanks again!

[eeglug]

6am (Extended Version) (http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=5240051&q=hi)

Does it help the song or not?


In the original version, the lack of new lyrics for the 3rd verse makes the song seem like it's only one verse and one chorus repeated.

The idea of the guitar solo makes up for this and adds meat to the song overall but this specific solo you've done has got to be improved. I zoned out and started to imagine the lead that could take its place. The return of the vocals is good. Your fadeout is awkward and hopefully you'll tidy it up.

Of course the presence of the solo heightens the anguish and almost begs that you write lyrics for verse 3 that suit that emotion.

My 2 cents...

[bigolpimp]

I normally don't issue compliments due to my own sense of personal integrity and genuineness, but I really enjoyed 6 a.m. I picked up on the em/G and/or E/G chord progression from "About a Girl" by Nirvana, and I have always loved that song. I am also a big fan of Pink Floyd. As a matter of fact, these are the only two bands in which I personally own most of the albums.

In a philosophical sense, no musical idea can be realistically conceived as being 100% "original." In fact, the very idea of writing a commercially-appealing song is intrinsically a process learned from others. I don't promote plagiarism, of course, but resign myself to the notion that most songs are works of "clip art" taken from other works that is later combined in a coherent fashion. Afterward, it may exist as an entity all its own.

Sure, my ego would beg to differ, but I'd like to be honest.

[DaSpider]

Hmmm... now I have to go back and listen to About A Girl!

[eeglug]

Overall it's more Floyd than Nirvana, even if the Em to G is the same as About A Girl. Your vocal is more like Michael Penn or Squeeze.

[DaSpider]

Yeah, I went and listened to About A Girl. The only likeness is the Em G progression. The melody and feel (3/4 vs. 4/4) are completely different. (whew!) But the way both songs open on the Em G progression make them sound similiar at first. Besides, I can't see Cobain singing my domesticated lyrics! :)