"I'm talking to you" new song

[Open]

Thanks to everyone that helped with their input on Supper's Ready. Here's a new one that's ready to be cooked. I just finished the first mix so let me know what works and what doesn't. This song is actually a first part of a forthcoming trilogy. Thanks for the listen.

I'm Talking to you

www.soundclick.com/open


Steve

[mekke]

Steve, very good work I think. First time I come across your stuff.
The sounds are excellent; the structure is very complex, but rythmically very powerful. Maybe you could lift up the chorus a bit with some harmonies, so that you help the dynamics of the song.
I found the song to be a little too long, but maybe that was intentional since its part of a trilogy. My two cents. Thanks for sharing; I enjoyed listening to such a mix resembling of artists I know and respect.

[eeglug]

I really liked Supper's Ready a lot. This one is good too but I don't like it as much. The singer is showing his 80s influences more on this one and he sounds a little ill at ease in this tune. Supper's Ready did a good job of slotting him into a structure which showed him in a good light but this song leaves him much more 'exposed'.

I also felt it was long although I was enjoying the long intro before the vocals. Maybe the intro promises more than the song delivers(?). I also think the dramatic changes in sound and texture which worked wonders for your other song don't work as well here. It seems more calculated and even predictable this time around, whereas Supper's Ready was always confounding my expectations at every corner in such a good way. I do like your 'painterly' approach to putting together your music though...

[DaSpider]

I think it sounds great, especially the production. It seems too long though.

[Open]

Steve, very good work I think. First time I come across your stuff.
The sounds are excellent; the structure is very complex, but rythmically very powerful. Maybe you could lift up the chorus a bit with some harmonies, so that you help the dynamics of the song.
I found the song to be a little too long, but maybe that was intentional since its part of a trilogy. My two cents. Thanks for sharing; I enjoyed listening to such a mix resembling of artists I know and respect.


Thanks. It was actually two songs that i combined into one like the way it will be when the CD is finished. Otherwise i would have made it 2 songs and it wouldn't seem too long, I hope...I appreciate your two cents and I'll take it anytime. Thanks.

[Chicken Monkey]

The intro was definitely too long. The sung vocals seem a little weak, especially with the heavy instrumentation. Particularly when you sing "you", it doesn't sound convincing. The production and dynamics are great.

[smross]

I love the feel of this song, the production is very well done. All the parts seem really strong to me.. I love "I'm talking to you" the guitar choord you hit right there at the same time as the vocals adds a great effect. Sounds good.

[Open]

Thanks Chicken Monkey and smross. Any thoughts about the song besides the intro?

[blue2blue]

I liked the spoken drop a lot... but I've heard it somewhere before I think. (I mean, besides the obvious Biblical story... I mean I'm pretty sure I've heard that recording of the colloquial retelling.)

Anyhow, the musc rocks pretty hard.

I didn't really make it through the music to get to the lyrics (which may or may not be problematic)... while lyrics on the page don't always/often convey the fullness of a song, if one is looking for an evaluation of how those lyrics fit with the overall song, it might be helpful to provide a print out of them to help those who have a hard time peeling individual words out of the fairly dense mix. (They may sound clear to you, since you already know what they are. ;) )

[dbd1963]

Production is very good until we get to the vocals -- I'm just an echo now I know.

It's just hard to hear the vocal. Too much effect on the voice maybe, or just not loud enough? I think maybe a combination. A little less effect, and a little louder.

Like blue2blue above, I can't really make out the lyrics, but I can say that nothing jumped out as obviously wrong there.

I like it, though it does feel like a "deep track" on an album. If the rest of the album is strong, then this will fit right into the groove with no problems.

[Iamtheblues]

Booooooring.

[bluesway]

i don't think that's appropriate, iam....just sayin' :rolleyes:

i dug the intro...i thought it was what you wanted it to be...it's obviously not a market tune....the thing i really disliked about this song, though was that vocal melody...or at least how you ended each verse line. it's so flat, it's another note, so i really don't know if it's intentional.

it's a bit 'over-produced for my taste, but that's taste, i guess.

overall, i dig how you put the whle thing together.

g

[Open]

I liked the spoken drop a lot... but I've heard it somewhere before I think. (I mean, besides the obvious Biblical story... I mean I'm pretty sure I've heard that recording of the colloquial retelling.)

Anyhow, the musc rocks pretty hard.

I didn't really make it through the music to get to the lyrics (which may or may not be problematic)... while lyrics on the page don't always/often convey the fullness of a song, if one is looking for an evaluation of how those lyrics fit with the overall song, it might be helpful to provide a print out of them to help those who have a hard time peeling individual words out of the fairly dense mix. (They may sound clear to you, since you already know what they are. ;) )


Here's the lyrics:
I’m Talking to you (intromission to dissolution) by Steve Kim

Intro narration:

A certain man had 2 sons.

And the younger boy, he said to his daddy, "Pa, give me all that is mine, I want all my inheritance.
I'm so sick and tired of living here with you and with my brother. I'm bored out my skull, I can't take it."

So the father, saddened of course to hear his boy talk like that, well he gave to his son all that was his.

So the boy packed up all his things, he took all his inheritance and all he had and he set on out to go as far away as he could from his daddy, from everyone in search of his dreams...





Welcome to my world
I won't bring you down
I will raise the moon if you want to

relegate your mind
and free your soul
and soon the darkness will find you

narration: And he lived there like a wild man.
I tell you there was nothing this boy could say no to...

Fall deep in my eyes
I will spell you bound
I will mesmerize the doubter

I'll resolve your fears
Admire yourself
It's your soul I want

Chorus: I'm talkin' to you!
You appear as a child.
I'm talkin' to you!
I see you're in denial.
I'm talkin' to you!
I'll see you in the funny papers, funny papers.

Magic mystery tour
where nothing is real
and nothing to get hung about.

I'll make you a deal
You should refuse
you're a rebel without a clue.


narration: At first, it seemed like a dream come true.
He had everything...fame, fortune, friends.







No worries my friend
I'll sing you this song
the band will play all night long

Come dance by the flames
embrace the fire
of seduction's glow...

Chorus: I'mtalkin' to you!
You appear as a child
I'm talkin' to you!
I see you're in denial
I'm walking with you!
I'm taking you to my place, a cool place
I'm walking with you!
I'm taking you to my space, a secret place
I'm walking with you!
I'm taking you about-face, a disgrace
The joke's on you!
I'll see you in the funny papers, funny papers, funny papers, funny papers.

[Open]

Production is very good until we get to the vocals -- I'm just an echo now I know.

It's just hard to hear the vocal. Too much effect on the voice maybe, or just not loud enough? I think maybe a combination. A little less effect, and a little louder.

Like blue2blue above, I can't really make out the lyrics, but I can say that nothing jumped out as obviously wrong there.

I like it, though it does feel like a "deep track" on an album. If the rest of the album is strong, then this will fit right into the groove with no problems.

Thanks! I did include the lyrics above in the event you needed help in disciphering. I did work out the vocals a little more. I wanted to give it that DM feel which is why there are a lot of effects.

[cuppycup]

This sound reminds me of Echo & The Bunnymen. The vocals seemed off-key to me at times, but I enjoyed it overall. I agree with the others, that it drags on a bit too long.