Chemistry

[HOOMER]

Seems to be LOTS of posts about "I carry all the stuff", or "I write all the music " or "I'm all bent up about how I'm blah blah blah........" ...I guess my post is to ask why do so many musicians work around or with people that make them nuts?
There is no "I" in team. Ive always tried to be on the team. If its a team that doesnt want me or vice-versa....well, find another team. Music is way to fun to have it cause migraines imho.......please pass on your thoughts.

[Facejackets]

I'm an irritable person. EVERYONE gets on my nerves.

[HOOMER]

facejackets.....not for nuthin but you must be a blast to work with...at least no one is wondering where your comin from, and thats all good to. Sounds like youre one of those guys that makes yourself dinner and then bitches about the menu...hehe...

[Actionsquid]

Originally posted by HOOMER
...I guess my post is to ask why do so many musicians work around or with people that make them nuts?


I don't.

Both my bands are full of wonderful people that are also friends I see outside of music as well.

I'd never play for more than a brief period with musicians I didn't like personally, and then only as a favor or for money.

[BlueStrat]

There is no "I" in team.

Well, to quote the commercial, there ain't no "we" either.


The guy I do a duo with can be difficult to get along with--he's the closest thing to an old Jewish mom I've ever seen. He complains a lot, argues about stuff, and gets offended easily, taking everything personally because everything is about him. But I only have to work with him 8-16 hours or so a month. It's funny, too, because outside of gigging, we're great friends. But together on a stage, it's a lot of work a lot of the time. But, we make each other good money and the crowd seems to like us, so there it is. I tolerate it because it's mutually profitable to do so.

[rhat]

Originally posted by BlueStrat
There is no "I" in team.

Well, to quote the commercial, there ain't no "we" either.


The guy I do a duo with can be difficult to get along with--he's the closest thing to an old Jewish mom I've ever seen. He complains a lot, argues about stuff, and gets offended easily, taking everything personally because everything is about him. But I only have to work with him 8-16 hours or so a month. It's funny, too, because outside of gigging, we're great friends. But together on a stage, it's a lot of work a lot of the time. But, we make each other good money and the crowd seems to like us, so there it is. I tolerate it because it's mutually profitable to do so.

I would guess he isnt anymore crusty a crab than you are ....If you want the edge , tell him you want to put a little nestalga to the act and that you want him to wear a lime green leisure suit. rat

[Lee Flier]

I look at being in a band as a lot like being married, and the varying reasons people "put up with crap" are similar.

For some people, they just don't have enough confidence or feel they have enough to offer or the selection of musicians in their area is so limited that they don't think they could be in a band at all if they didn't put up with "difficult" people.

For most of us though, the simple answer is that just like with a spouse, nobody is perfect and anybody will have things about them that drive you nuts, but you choose them because the good outweighs the bad in any number of ways, more so than whatever would drive you nuts about somebody else. :D

Sometimes the thing that tips the balance is sheer talent and suitability to the gig. I don't mean the ability to technically play rings around anybody, but somebody who has a unique style that you don't consider replaceable without losing a lot. That's enough to make a lot of people feel someone is worth working with even if they're not the easiest people to deal with.

Other people are really not bad people and you get along with them fine and they're good to great players, but maybe they just don't have the same level of motivation as you or the same kind of skills, or they're on a tighter schedule so it's tougher for them to be involved in all the details of running the band, or they cancel practices, etc. This is probably the most common scenario. Particularly if you do have the skills to pull off what needs to be done, it's pretty easy to say "well, I get bent out of shape that he doesn't write songs and he cancels rehearsals and doesn't always help load in, but he's a good player and we get along well, doesn't have a substance problem or a big ego, so I'll deal with it." Then you come vent on this forum about how they drive you nuts. :D

I would never work with an out and out asshole or somebody with a serious drug or alcohol problem (been there, done that, never again), but like I said, nobody's perfect and for most people, who they choose to work with involves a lot of weighing of options and figuring out whether the good outweighs the bad.

[KeysBear]

Mind if I vent/analyze my situation?

Lead singer: Lazy slob, slimey slug of a man. He would smoke on stage if we'd let him. He shows up late for sound checks then spends the rest of the time before the gig eating his dinner. Later complains about the monitors during the first song then blows off the first set tweaking his guitar, tweaking the P.A., and getting his voice together. Thinks the set list is "suggestions." Nearly deaf and turns up his guitar another notch every song. Shows up to practices a half hour to one hour late. Can't manage his life and missed a gig once because on the way there he was stopped on a minor traffic violation and hauled in for driving on a suspended license. Awesome voice, great guitarist, sings great in various styles, charming and charismatic front man. Keeps being stalked by good looking women who won't take "drop dead" as a hint that it's over. In spite of his flaws and self centeredness I have observed that he has a heart of gold. Still I feel that I have absolutely nothing in common with him once we leave the stage.

Drummer: Needs the right mix of tequila to play. One to two shots he gets in the groove. Four to five shots he's lost in space. Bad tempered bully but mellowing lately. Not a flashy player but has an artistic touch that is priceless. Good backing vocals. Manages the band but sometimes I feel has no business sense. Our running joke with him is "they offered us $1,000 for the gig but he haggled them down to $300, free beer, and the buffet."

Lead Guitarist: University educated in rock, classical, jazz, and flamenco. You name it he can play it. Egotistical at times and feels he's playing in a band beneath his level. Demands his pet songs be played and has tantrums if they get left out. Great voice like Steve Perry. He can sing lead as well as background but is not a front man. Also nearly deaf and turns his guitar up a notch every song. He is such a talented player and singer that I truly believe he will be nationally (and internationally) known one day. He is also being stalked by ex-girlfriends. He loves all women and would have no problem with hitting on my girlfriend, my daughter, and my mother.

Keyboards/bass: (me) Moody and bored to death with the material. Impatient and irritable at practices. I honestly feel that I am playing at the best level of my life but I rarely get any pleasure out of gigging. Maybe once a month we give a performance that keeps me in awe of the band's magic and that makes me feel cursed because it keeps me from quitting.

The only person I really enjoy being around is the lead guitarist and he barely speaks English so it's pretty difficult to have a conversation with him. Even so we room together on road trips and get along nicely. To me this band is dysfunctional but has great chemistry when performing.

[elbow]

This is an important topic for me. Our band is made up of some decent players, but none are especially ultra-talented. We have our sound though. The other guitarist calls it "our groove." For example, our drummer is somewhat limited in certain styles and sounds like he is struggling or becoming mechanical, but for "our sound," he is the best. If we're doing covers, we just have to pick material that works.

The other guitarist and I have jammed with other musicians for fun or maybe filling in at a gig here and there, and that chemistry is sorely missing. We can't achieve that groove, or sound, or emotion, or whatever the hell it is with other combinations of folks.

While we may sometimes be frustrating to me, I have learned to overlook or move on when it comes to trying to do a song that ain't working because we can't find the feel for it.

When that chemistry is working it's mojo, it's an awesome feeling.

[KeysBear]

Originally posted by elbow

The other guitarist and I have jammed with other musicians for fun or maybe filling in at a gig here and there, and that chemistry is sorely missing. We can't achieve that groove, or sound, or emotion, or whatever the hell it is with other combinations of folks.
........
When that chemistry is working it's mojo, it's an awesome feeling.
Exactly what I'm locked into. My crazy guys make for good mojo.

[cooterbrown]

Originally posted by BlueStrat
There is no "I" in team.

Well, to quote the commercial, there ain't no "we" either.


The guy I do a duo with can be difficult to get along with--he's the closest thing to an old Jewish mom I've ever seen. He complains a lot, argues about stuff, and gets offended easily, taking everything personally because everything is about him. But I only have to work with him 8-16 hours or so a month. It's funny, too, because outside of gigging, we're great friends. But together on a stage, it's a lot of work a lot of the time. But, we make each other good money and the crowd seems to like us, so there it is. I tolerate it because it's mutually profitable to do so.


Dude...are you sure we're not living some sort of bizzaro parallel life? :confused:

[cooterbrown]

Originally posted by KeysBear
Mind if I vent/analyze my situation?

Lead singer: Lazy slob, slimey slug of a man. He would smoke on stage if we'd let him. He shows up late for sound checks then spends the rest of the time before the gig eating his dinner. Later complains about the monitors during the first song then blows off the first set tweaking his guitar, tweaking the P.A., and getting his voice together. Thinks the set list is "suggestions." Nearly deaf and turns up his guitar another notch every song. Shows up to practices a half hour to one hour late. Can't manage his life and missed a gig once because on the way there he was stopped on a minor traffic violation and hauled in for driving on a suspended license. Awesome voice, great guitarist, sings great in various styles, charming and charismatic front man. Keeps being stalked by good looking women who won't take "drop dead" as a hint that it's over. In spite of his flaws and self centeredness I have observed that he has a heart of gold. Still I feel that I have absolutely nothing in common with him once we leave the stage.

Drummer: Needs the right mix of tequila to play. One to two shots he gets in the groove. Four to five shots he's lost in space. Bad tempered bully but mellowing lately. Not a flashy player but has an artistic touch that is priceless. Good backing vocals. Manages the band but sometimes I feel has no business sense. Our running joke with him is "they offered us $1,000 for the gig but he haggled them down to $300, free beer, and the buffet."

Lead Guitarist: University educated in rock, classical, jazz, and flamenco. You name it he can play it. Egotistical at times and feels he's playing in a band beneath his level. Demands his pet songs be played and has tantrums if they get left out. Great voice like Steve Perry. He can sing lead as well as background but is not a front man. Also nearly deaf and turns his guitar up a notch every song. He is such a talented player and singer that I truly believe he will be nationally (and internationally) known one day. He is also being stalked by ex-girlfriends. He loves all women and would have no problem with hitting on my girlfriend, my daughter, and my mother.

Keyboards/bass: (me) Moody and bored to death with the material. Impatient and irritable at practices. I honestly feel that I am playing at the best level of my life but I rarely get any pleasure out of gigging. Maybe once a month we give a performance that keeps me in awe of the band's magic and that makes me feel cursed because it keeps me from quitting.

The only person I really enjoy being around is the lead guitarist and he barely speaks English so it's pretty difficult to have a conversation with him. Even so we room together on road trips and get along nicely. To me this band is dysfunctional but has great chemistry when performing.

Wow...hope your bandmates don't read this forum. :o ;)

[cooterbrown]

I consider myself extremely lucky.
I have two bands that cover just about anything I would want to play.
The drummer, bassist, and myself play in both bands.
The dance band can really lay down the funk...before I joined they were never able to find a keyboardist who meshed with the sharp groove the band lays down, especially one who practically knew the whole setlist before he joined, so there was never a "breaking in" period.

The other band is pretty much hard rock.
We had just as much chemistry as the other band until the fateful New Year's morning of 2005, when our guitarist colided his van with a train and lost his left arm (it was still dark, and no, he wasn't drunk... the train didn't blow its whistle). We would also do a lot of 4-piece pickup gigs without our lead singer, and all that was lost, that day.

Over the last few months, we have been playing with a great kid (he's 25...13 years younger than me, and I was previously the youngest in the band) who can really tear it up, and with him we finally seem to be getting that old magic back.

If we could only convince him to leave his other band...its obvious he enjoys playing with us, more...but I can understand where his loyalties lie. So... he only plays with us when he can.

Otherwise, we have a revolving door of our guitarist in our other band, and a couple of guys who just really don't fit in wll, with us.

[Outkaster]

Originally posted by KeysBear
Mind if I vent/analyze my situation?

Lead singer: Lazy slob, slimey slug of a man. He would smoke on stage if we'd let him. He shows up late for sound checks then spends the rest of the time before the gig eating his dinner. Later complains about the monitors during the first song then blows off the first set tweaking his guitar, tweaking the P.A., and getting his voice together. Thinks the set list is "suggestions." Nearly deaf and turns up his guitar another notch every song. Shows up to practices a half hour to one hour late. Can't manage his life and missed a gig once because on the way there he was stopped on a minor traffic violation and hauled in for driving on a suspended license. Awesome voice, great guitarist, sings great in various styles, charming and charismatic front man. Keeps being stalked by good looking women who won't take "drop dead" as a hint that it's over. In spite of his flaws and self centeredness I have observed that he has a heart of gold. Still I feel that I have absolutely nothing in common with him once we leave the stage.

Drummer: Needs the right mix of tequila to play. One to two shots he gets in the groove. Four to five shots he's lost in space. Bad tempered bully but mellowing lately. Not a flashy player but has an artistic touch that is priceless. Good backing vocals. Manages the band but sometimes I feel has no business sense. Our running joke with him is "they offered us $1,000 for the gig but he haggled them down to $300, free beer, and the buffet."

Lead Guitarist: University educated in rock, classical, jazz, and flamenco. You name it he can play it. Egotistical at times and feels he's playing in a band beneath his level. Demands his pet songs be played and has tantrums if they get left out. Great voice like Steve Perry. He can sing lead as well as background but is not a front man. Also nearly deaf and turns his guitar up a notch every song. He is such a talented player and singer that I truly believe he will be nationally (and internationally) known one day. He is also being stalked by ex-girlfriends. He loves all women and would have no problem with hitting on my girlfriend, my daughter, and my mother.

Keyboards/bass: (me) Moody and bored to death with the material. Impatient and irritable at practices. I honestly feel that I am playing at the best level of my life but I rarely get any pleasure out of gigging. Maybe once a month we give a performance that keeps me in awe of the band's magic and that makes me feel cursed because it keeps me from quitting.

The only person I really enjoy being around is the lead guitarist and he barely speaks English so it's pretty difficult to have a conversation with him. Even so we room together on road trips and get along nicely. To me this band is dysfunctional but has great chemistry when performing.

Great post:thu:

[Flametal]

I think my new band just clicks. We just Jam on something someone brought in and a song is done by the end of practice.

[BlueStrat]

Originally posted by Flametal
I think my new band just clicks. We just Jam on something someone brought in and a song is done by the end of practice.

That's great. It happens rarely, and is pure magic when it does. :thu:

[StratMonster]

Its wild though, Think about it. Bands that have had years together ...Stones, Beatles all the way up to red hot chili's, they met as kids and kinda grew up together. I remember seeing a interview with the lead singer of the peppers, he said the band loved each other and would be hanging out together even if they werent in the band.

All the others that hated each other and played through it were either one hit wonders or made one or two hit albums together and never want to talk to each other again....

[HOOMER]

wow..didnt really expect such a heartfelt response to the thread actually...but certainly worth throwin out there I thought.. Bluestrat....spot on as always..good look at the real world.....

[HOOMER]

And Stratmonster...I guess thats really the point I was trying to make...Ya gotta love the bands at that level who've kept it together..it's not easy,,whether U like them or not, ya gotta respect the nads it takes to be a major headliner for 20^ years...when on most forums here we cant agree on much except we love to joust:)

[Marcus Dahl]

I hate drama and lazy people. So now I have my own band with my guitar playing pal. 3 pieces less people less drama. Actually I have no drama. Both me and the guitr player get gigs. I load the PA in and at the end of the night when I'm out of breath from screaming all night and half lite, getting our pay, he packs up and loads it out. I hire us out 3 different drummers and each of them when on the gig helps with the load out. I've never asked them to help either. I've been doing this to long to be working with people that have drama and are lazy. Life is to short and the good times are to sweet to deal with that.

[fastplant]

I get along well with my band. Sure we have arguments, but what band doesn't? If you hate the people you play with, though, you should find other players.

[guitarsjb]

We get along pretty well. The drummer gets on everyones nerves because he has a pretty negative attitude. The new guitar player fits in GREAT! We socialize quite a bit away from practice/gigs. We go to shows together, every couple of months we try to go out to dinner and just hang out with our spouses etc.
Yeah, we've had a few shouting matches, but we live through them.

[picker13]

I'm in two bands. First the postive experience: I play bass for this band and some backing vocals. I'm by far the least talented musician in this group -- not because I stink at bass, but because the other guys are superb. Everyone takes playing serioiusly and I look forward to each and every gig. The stage chemistry is always there. We have a blast when we play, everyone pitches in to help each other set up or tear down, and musically we're one ot the best in the region.

The sceond is almost completely the opposite. It's a cover/original band where I am by far the best musician in the group. I play guitar and sing lead. We get along but gigs seem to be a hassle for me. No matter how much I try to help someone out by teaching them the part they are supposed to play, they will fall back to the wrong way. I'm good personal friends with the bass player -- and that's the only reason I stick with it. Fortunately, we don't play that often.

[rhat]

Originally posted by rhat
The best chemisty happens in a band when everyone in the band knows they cant or shouldnt try go out and get a better player.

What you sound like as a whole band is a greater force than say just a great drummer or amazing guitar player. Bands are a team sport. A weaker lead player that can sing lead and harmony is a far greater ,member than a so so singer who is the next hendrix. You have to cover all the bases.....and add up the biggest total. Great bands are the sum of the parts... rat

[MattFacingSouth]

Our band has pretty good chemistry. It's a small town and we pretty much have to otherwise we wouldn't have gigs. The biggest bitch in the band is probably me, but that's because I lead things and am fairly vocal about it. I ask everyone's opinion, though, and listen to them to get a feel for their opinion and general mood and in almost two years, there have been no complaints beside one little incident with the bass player when he didn't like the direction of our song selection - we communicated, compromised, and played on.